As Mad As A Hatter
Alice enters through door. She sees a table laid out with food and tea. The Mad Hatter and March Hare are sat at the table drinking cups of tea, talking and generally being mad.
March Hare sees Alice.
March: You're late for tea! (throws a teacup at Alice)
Mad: Yes you are, naughty.
Alice: I don't mean to be, sir. I'm sorry.
Mad: That's alright, take a seat. Have some tea. (Alice sits down.) Why is a raven like a writing desk?
Alice: I have no idea. Why is a raven like a writing desk?
March: We don't know. We've been trying to figure it out for years. So where is this no eyed dear then?
Mad: There's not much else to do here these days except drink tea and answer unanswerable riddles. Not since we upset time.
Alice: Really? This gets curiouser and curiouser. What do you mean you upset time?
March: He was our friend once, but then we offended him.
Mad: So now it's always tea time. CHANGE PLACES! (The Mad Hatter and March Hare move to new seats at the table. Alice copies confused.)
Cheshire: Thirty men and women two.
Standing aside and nothing to do.
Dressed in formal, Red and White.
If one moves they begin to fight.
Alice looks around confused.
Cheshire: In a world that changes, black and white.
Two Queens opposed in constant fight.
Their Kings protected so they don't fail.
An army Red or White prevails.
At this place find what you seek.
But remember, you must not speak.
Alice: Who said that? (Alice's eyes dart around the room.)
March: Who said what? There's no one there. Are you mad?
Alice: No, but you are.
Mad: Of course we're mad.
March: You'd be mad if it was always tea time.
Alice: Well it sounds like chess.
Mad: What sounds like chess?
Alice: The answer to the riddle – never mind. I'm looking for a rabbit with a Frisbee. You seen one?
March: A rabbit with a Frisbee? Now who's mad. As it happens one went through before. Heading for the Queens’ Chess Match it was.
The Mad Hatter and March Hare direct Alice to the Queens’ Chess Match, then go back to being generally mad.
March Hare sees Alice.
March: You're late for tea! (throws a teacup at Alice)
Mad: Yes you are, naughty.
Alice: I don't mean to be, sir. I'm sorry.
Mad: That's alright, take a seat. Have some tea. (Alice sits down.) Why is a raven like a writing desk?
Alice: I have no idea. Why is a raven like a writing desk?
March: We don't know. We've been trying to figure it out for years. So where is this no eyed dear then?
Mad: There's not much else to do here these days except drink tea and answer unanswerable riddles. Not since we upset time.
Alice: Really? This gets curiouser and curiouser. What do you mean you upset time?
March: He was our friend once, but then we offended him.
Mad: So now it's always tea time. CHANGE PLACES! (The Mad Hatter and March Hare move to new seats at the table. Alice copies confused.)
Cheshire: Thirty men and women two.
Standing aside and nothing to do.
Dressed in formal, Red and White.
If one moves they begin to fight.
Alice looks around confused.
Cheshire: In a world that changes, black and white.
Two Queens opposed in constant fight.
Their Kings protected so they don't fail.
An army Red or White prevails.
At this place find what you seek.
But remember, you must not speak.
Alice: Who said that? (Alice's eyes dart around the room.)
March: Who said what? There's no one there. Are you mad?
Alice: No, but you are.
Mad: Of course we're mad.
March: You'd be mad if it was always tea time.
Alice: Well it sounds like chess.
Mad: What sounds like chess?
Alice: The answer to the riddle – never mind. I'm looking for a rabbit with a Frisbee. You seen one?
March: A rabbit with a Frisbee? Now who's mad. As it happens one went through before. Heading for the Queens’ Chess Match it was.
The Mad Hatter and March Hare direct Alice to the Queens’ Chess Match, then go back to being generally mad.